Surprising Oscar Finds

Winning an Oscar is great, right? Well, most people think so. But some winners would have preferred something else. In fact, the phrase “I'd rather have” pops up a lot in Oscar speeches.
Sean Connery: “I can honestly say that I'd rather have won the US Open Golf Tournament.”
Jack Lemmon: “I'd rather make the cut in the Crosby than win another Oscar.”

So who would you thank when you won your Oscar? The director, the writers, the producer, the actors, your family, your fans, God? That all seems reasonable. But some winners go overboard. Look at who was thanked in previous Oscar speeches:
“my agent”
“my cousin”
“my high school drama teacher”
“everybody I ever met in my entire life”
“my makeup man”
“my assistant”
“the Maharishi”
“all the waiters and waitresses who used to cover my shift for me”
“all of you for watching us congratulate ourselves tonight.”
“Ray Charles for living”
“my lawyer”
“my manager”
“Oprah Winfrey”

Some Oscar winner just say crazy things in their acceptance speeches. Here are some of our favorites, each taken verbatim from a real Oscar speech:
“egg salad sandwiches in the aisles of liquid”
"the euphoria that happens to so many of us at the first breath of the majestic glow of a new tomorrow."
“I am the king of the world!"

The longest Oscar speech was 7 minutes. The shortest speech at the Academy Awards was given by Jane Fonda, when she won Best Actress for Klute in 1972: "There's a great deal to say, but I'm not going to say it tonight."

Throughout our research, we came across some great lines. These were the best:

Louise Fletcher thanked Jack Nicholson for making "being in a mental institution like being in a mental institution."
Steven Spielberg, for "Schindler's List," after years of being passed over by the academy: "Oh, wow. This is the best drink of water after the longest drought of my life."
Dianne West, on winning Best Supporting Actress for Hannah and Her Sisters : "Gee, this isn't like I imagined it would be in the bathtub."
Jessica Yu, accepting for Best Short Subject Documentary: "What a thrill. You know you've entered new territory when you realize that your outfit cost more than your film."
Robin Williams (of course), upon winning Best Supporting Actor for Good Will Hunting : "Most of all, I want to thank my father, up there, the man who when I said I wanted to be an actor, he said, 'Wonderful, just have a back-up profession like welding.' "
Denise Robert, who won t he award for Best Foreign Language Film: “We're so thankful that The Lord of The Rings did not qualify in this category.”
The famous, misquoted Sally Field line: “I can't deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me!”
And who could forget Woody Allen's: “ Thank you very much. That makes up for the strip-search.”

Want more Oscar fun? Play our Oscar Night Buzzword Bingo, see our Oscar Winner Picks or enter our Oscar Night Contest and win DVDs of every nominated movies this year.

(Know who said every quote written above? The first person to email the correct answer to bonus@mapaubingo.com gets a $100 Bingo Bonus)

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